Parenting by Connection with Belynda Smith

We make plans for our dental health. Plans for our money. Plans for our meals and shopping. Something Parenting by Connection puts in the spotlight is the idea that our relationship with our kids requires thought and planning too! We use a tool called a Connection Plan. A Connection Plan can be as involved or as detailed as you like. It is tailor made by you, the expert on your family. Some of the questions and ideas you could use when thinking about how to connect well with your kids include: What are the kinds of things your kids struggle with? It might be transitions (going from brushing teeth to putting PJs on to getting into bed), it might be playing well with siblings, it might be separation anxiety that comes out whenever you aren’t in the same room. Thinking about our day, where do our kids get stuck on their big feelings? Is it at the breakfast table? Is it getting out the door for school? Is it after we meet up again at the end of the day? What is our relatio...

Parenting by Connection starts with the assumption and the understanding that you are good, and that your child is good.  We know that children's brains work best when they are in loving, responsive communication with a trusted adult, and that when things are not feeling safe for them they either show off track behaviours or release their tension by tantruming, raging, crying, sweating or laughing. Playlistening is a wonderful tool taught in the Parenting by Connection approach. Playlistening is a special way of focusing our listening and attention on our child. We take the less powerful approach in play and we follow the giggles - this lights our child up!  It also helps them process various tricky feelings and counters any feelings of isolation, overwhelm and powerlessness they may carry. Before my children transformed my views on this, I worried that playing would encourage off track behaviour. For example, the idea that having a blast together shouting out rude words mig...