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About the Parenting by Connection approach


Want stronger, sweeter connections in your family? 

Parenting by Connection brings more than 30 years of research and experience to help you enjoy your parenting, and the fundamental cornerstone of this approach is a simple one - listening.

Parenting by Connection is founded on the idea that connection is vital to us as human beings, and particularly to the developing minds of young children. When children feel connected they can enjoy life, bringing their intelligence, curiosity and kindness into each moment. Day by day, a child's sense of connection can be easily broken, and when it is they signal to the adults around them in one of two very clear ways. Either they release the emotional tension they are feeling due to the disconnect, by crying, tantruming, sweating or laughing, or they display off-track behaviours, effectively giving parents a large red flag that says 'help me!'. 

Parenting by Connection provides five proven strategies to help families connect well both during these difficult moments and as a preventative measure.

Staylistening involves simply listening to an upset child, without trying to fix things or stop her crying or tantruming, through until the very end of the upset.

Setting Limits provides an inroad to helping children offload their tension when their behaviour is unworkable. Kindly and firmly holding a limit, with few words and lots of love, helps a child access their sadness, grief or fear, so that they can begin to cry or rage.

Playlistening is a wonderful pre-emptive method for helping children release tension. Following their giggles by taking the less powerful role in play allows them to feel listened to in a very profound way.

Special Time is a daily dose of loving connection that can really help your child to stay on track. By setting aside a set period of time, and allowing your child to take the lead in how he spends it, you give your child an invaluable gift.

Listening Partnerships are a parent-to-parent listening tool that make all of the above possible. With emotional support for yourself it becomes more and more of a delight to offer the gift of Staylistening, Settling Limits, Playlistening and Special Time, and to watch your children blossom and your relationships strengthen.

Learn more by listening in to the first season of Belynda's podcast, produced in partnership with four other Hand in Hand Parenting Instructors from around the world - Tales from the Toolbox. Available wherever you get your podcasts.


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