Parenting by Connection with Belynda Smith

from Unsplash by David Sobolewski Parenting by Connection is an approach that works from the assumption that you are a good parent, who wants the very best for your children. We also start with the view that your children are good; they want to connect with you and others around them to play well, laugh hard and learn with real passion. We know that children are born to connect with us and that their brain development relies on warm, responsive, loving adult care. In our fast-paced world, parenting isn't given the respect and the support it deserves. It's no wonder, then, that there are times when our children don't feel connected to us. This too is a natural experience, and it is one our children are equipped for - with our support they can bounce back from a feeling of disconnection and develop valuable resilience. So what happens when a child has experienced a feeling of disconnect, and his brain can't sense safety? Parenting by Connection holds the view that...

Image by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash Parents want to make things go well for their children. We want to see them laugh joyfully, focus intently on their passions, and play beautifully with their friends. When things go wrong, we often move straight into fix-it mode. This can mean skipping over the child's feelings - 'No that didn't really hurt' or 'You're just being silly'. Parenting by Connection has a new insight into these moments. What if you don't need to fix anything? What if your only job is to stay with your child and listen, for as long as she needs to offload her emotions? At first glance, this may seem a strange idea, one that could encourage dramatics and crying. My experience and that of many thousands of others who have worked with the Parenting by Connection approach is the total opposite. If I minimise my child's feelings, he maintains a feeling of upset all day long. Everything is a problem. He is literally looking for a way t...