Parenting by Connection with Belynda Smith

Aggression from our sweet children knocks parents for six. It is a highly emotive and very difficult situation. When you have the challenge of dealing with a regularly aggressive child, you have so many big feelings to deal with from everyone. Image by Patrick Fore from Unsplash The usual response to aggression is to meet it with, at best, a 'do not mess with me, I mean business' tone, and at worst, to meet it with further aggression. It isn't a surprise that this is often the only way we know how to respond to this pattern of behaviour. After all, it is highly unlikely that we ever saw or experienced any other response. If you have been trying these responses to your child's aggression for a while now, it's time to try something new. Something that seems counter-productive but actually works. With aggression, we need to keep our eye on what is really going on. So firstly I'll explain a little brain science. Our brain can be basically viewed as having...

The Starter Class is designed for parents, caregivers, grandparents, professionals in childcare and children's education. This interactive class is the ideal way to learn the five key Parenting by Connection tools; you will be practicing what you learn in each class and sharing support and encouragement with other parents. Consistent with attachment research and supported by over 40 years of experience, this approach will help you feel better connected to your child and other parents, and will help you build and support your family in just the ways you want to. From Unsplash by Providence Doucet 10 Ways a Parenting by Connection  Starter Class can help your family How to handle aggressive and anxious behaviours.  How to improve cooperation and increase connection through play.  React calmly when your child shouts or hits out.  Manage sleep and eating issues.  Become a more playful parent.  Help your child release his fears and insecuri...

Photo by  Eddie Kopp  on  Unsplash Aggression from our sweet kids can really throw us off balance. When our 2 year old bites a friend, our 4 year old whaps us in the face during playtime, or our children physically fight one another, we often feel confused, isolated and very angry ourselves. Parenting by Connection has some interesting and practically useful views on aggression; a supremely helpful idea championed by this approach is that an aggressive child is a scared child. A short explanation of brain science may help to illuminate why. The human brain can be viewed in a simple way by seeing it as a vertical chain. The brain stem at the bottom controls life processes such as breathing and temperature, and is the part engaged when the fight or flight response is triggered. The next level up is the social emotional centre of the brain, known as the limbic system. Here is where our long term memories are stored, and it is the part of the brain we use to scan...