Parenting by Connection with Belynda Smith

Parenting by Connection starts with the assumption and the understanding that you are good, and that your child is good.  We know that children's brains work best when they are in loving, responsive communication with a trusted adult, and that when things are not feeling safe for them they either show off track behaviours or release their tension by tantruming, raging, crying, sweating or laughing. Playlistening is a wonderful tool taught in the Parenting by Connection approach. Playlistening is a special way of focusing our listening and attention on our child. We take the less powerful approach in play and we follow the giggles - this lights our child up!  It also helps them process various tricky feelings and counters any feelings of isolation, overwhelm and powerlessness they may carry. Before my children transformed my views on this, I worried that playing would encourage off track behaviour. For example, the idea that having a blast together shouting out rude words mig...

Parenting by Connection should probably be called Life by Connection. It's an approach that has profoundly impacted my relationships across all spheres of life. So what is it all about? Parenting is hard work. You deserve support as you do this vital work. In our society, parenting is seen as something of a hobby. But parenting involves deeply emotional work that can very challenging. The Parenting by Connection approach involves supporting parents so they can in turn support and lead their families well. Parenting by Connection is an approach that values your wellbeing at least as much as your child's. This approach asserts that, like the life mask on an aeroplane, you need to care for yourself before you can provide the deep connection your child thrives on. The Starter Class which runs for six weeks gives you some vital refresher time. You can be with other parents and learn from their stories too. Parenting can be isolating; getting together and sharing a laugh or ev...

by Arwan Sutan from Unsplash I'll let you in on a profound insight that changed my life.  Your kids don't need tantrum training but you probably do! No doubt you have always been shown and told that tantrums are a bad thing. I think you'll come to value them once you see how they can restore your child's good thinking. In our culture tantrums are perceived as something to squash, something to ignore, something to divert from. The Parenting by Connection perspective provides a very different view. The human brain is built for connection. From the moment they are born children's brains are hard wired to seek out connection and safety. When they feel warm, loving attention from a caring adult, children thrive. But life isn't always easy on our small people, and even things that seem harmless to us grownups can really upset a baby or a child. A door slamming noisily, or mum going into the next room, can throw your child's sense of connection right o...

from Unsplash by David Sobolewski Parenting by Connection is an approach that works from the assumption that you are a good parent, who wants the very best for your children. We also start with the view that your children are good; they want to connect with you and others around them to play well, laugh hard and learn with real passion. We know that children are born to connect with us and that their brain development relies on warm, responsive, loving adult care. In our fast-paced world, parenting isn't given the respect and the support it deserves. It's no wonder, then, that there are times when our children don't feel connected to us. This too is a natural experience, and it is one our children are equipped for - with our support they can bounce back from a feeling of disconnection and develop valuable resilience. So what happens when a child has experienced a feeling of disconnect, and his brain can't sense safety? Parenting by Connection holds the view that...