Parenting by Connection with Belynda Smith

This post was inspired by a wonderful mum I know; in the midst of holiday madness and a new baby, plus two older kids, she managed to create the most beautiful and inspiring art space to make her daughter feel special. These acts of kindnesswe do for our kids, especially at times when our own resources are stretched, can really resonate in their hearts and let them know how precious they are to us. Image by Isaac Del Toro from Unsplash A new baby in the family means new dynamics, new routines and new challenges for everyone. For some older siblings a new baby can literally be like a bomb exploding in their lives; everything changes and they are left feeling at best disoriented and confused, at worst pushed out and unloved. Parenting by Connection provides you with a way to focus on what can really help at times of change like this. The two things that can help most are - Lots of support and resources for parents - Lots of connection with our kids so they can weather the chan...

In our home, we celebrate Brothers’ Day once a year. This special day is a focus for a long time beforehand as we choose a cake together, plan a fun outing, and generally celebrate how special brothers are. This idea was from Laura Markham’s book Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings , and I’m so glad we took it on as a family ritual. This ritual is just one of the very intentional ways we've helped our boys build the best relationship they can. When things are going well, my boys connect well and love one another deeply. As young human beings who carry some hurts, they also can have bumps along the road in their relationship. There has been plenty of physical fighting, verbal stoushing, sibling rivalry and big feelings between them. Over the past two years things have steadily improved thanks to Parenting by Connection tools and strategies. Here are five of the key bond-building ideas that have made a difference to our family, and that I hope might help your kids get along well t...

The Starter Class is designed for parents, caregivers, grandparents, professionals in childcare and children's education. This interactive class is the ideal way to learn the five key Parenting by Connection tools; you will be practicing what you learn in each class and sharing support and encouragement with other parents. Consistent with attachment research and supported by over 40 years of experience, this approach will help you feel better connected to your child and other parents, and will help you build and support your family in just the ways you want to. From Unsplash by Providence Doucet 10 Ways a Parenting by Connection  Starter Class can help your family How to handle aggressive and anxious behaviours.  How to improve cooperation and increase connection through play.  React calmly when your child shouts or hits out.  Manage sleep and eating issues.  Become a more playful parent.  Help your child release his fears and insecuri...

Siblings. They warm your heart when they share, cuddle and play well. But when big feelings take over it can be difficult for everyone! Parenting by Connection has a wonderful tool to use at times like these. It is quite revolutionary; it doesn't require you to adjudicate, teach or lecture. Just to listen. This tool is called Staylistening. It literally involves you simply staying with your child, and listening to whatever they need to say.  The truth is that when we quieten our children, their big feelings don't go away, they are just driven down inside them. Is it any wonder these feelings boil up and result in sibling fighting and hard moments? By allowing your child to 'let off steam' with your loving attention, you take the sting out of these feelings. When new to this approach I was sceptical, thinking this would encourage the feelings and grow them, but my experience has been exactly the opposite. With the loving attention of a parent, a child can let g...